Thursday, September 30, 2010

How To Deal With School Anxiety

I’ll never forget that first day of school.  My family had ripped me away from all my friends and a life that I cherished.  Not only would I not know anyone, but I hadn’t even had time to check out the town or walk through my new neighborhood.  This was not going to be fun.
I sat there in the third row waiting for the inevitable.  It wasn’t like I hadn’t done this before.  Every few years my dad would get a new job and away we would go.  The sweat was already beading up on my brow.  More kids were piling in and soon the teacher would make his appearance.  There he was.  A big man.  This would make it even more unpleasant. Now he was using a ruler to get the attention of the class.  Tap, tap, tap.  It echoed through my head as I sat dreading the call of attendance.  Why did they always have to do this?  Why didn’t my parents help me out with this?  Here it came.  It never took very long since my last name was at the beginning of the alphabet.  “Alexander Anderson?” Whew, that kid didn’t have the greatest name either.  But, still, it was nothing like mine.  Here it came.  “Burrrrnnaarrdd?”  The sound seemed to echo off the walls as the kids began to burst into laughter.  I slumped in my seat.  How small could I possibly get?  I could hear my voice begin to squeak.  “Its pronounce BurrNerd,” I croaked.  This elicited another round of laughter and cat calls.  “It was my uncle’s name.  No one can say Bernard correctly, so you can call me Eric.”  It didn’t help.  The teacher was somehow taken aback as if the laughter was directed towards him.  He wrapped the ruler again to regain attention.  I could see him cross out my name and apparently make a note of my “new” name.  I wondered what shade of red was on my face as I could feel the heat reflecting off my hands. 
You can imagine the difficulty of finding a place to eat lunch after a morning like that.  I decided I would try something new.  I couldn’t be the only one that was new at this school.  OK, I’m taller than most people here so I can get a good look around the cafeteria.  There was a kid by himself at a table near the play ground door.  He looked like he’d lost his best friend.  I bet his parents had made him move too.  I went over and sat down next to him.  “Hi.  My names’ Eric.”  I held my head high, put on the biggest smile I could and made believe I was the most popular kid in school.  As his head slowly lifted, I could see some color and a cautious smile crawl into his face.  Victory, I thought to myself.  I would never again think of myself as the lone kid.  Instead, I now had the power to conquer the fear and loneliness in others just by being nice to them. 
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