As parents it is our job to make sure our children feel safe and can grow in the environment they are in. Part of raising excellent children is knowing the different ways our children express themselves. Some children will openly tell you if something at school or church is bothering them. Others will internalize their emotions causing them to act out. It is our job, as hard as it is, to unlock their hearts and get them to feel comfortable opening up to us. There are signs that even your child may not really understand that let you know something is wrong. Today we will concentrate on bullying. What are the signs that your child may be being bullied?
1. They seem anxious or nervous to go to school. We are not talking about first day jitters or test anxiety here. This would be a child who enjoyed school, or looked forward to seeing friends at school that suddenly or over a short period of time becomes an anxious child. This should be a warning flag. If your child will not speak up, or maybe they don't understand themselves, it's time for you to talk with their teacher. Remember it's not always children who bully. If you get an answer you feel is weak, it's okay to go higher and talk to the principal.
2. Suddenly losing interest in school or activities. This child was always eager to get to school or church or after school activity. Now they waste time, start moving in slow motion or otherwise drag their feet, often arriving late. This should be a big warning sign. When a child's personality changes over a certain activity or all activities it's time to step in. Again if your child will not open up to you, you will have to either stay and observe or start talking to the adults in direct supervision of your child. This is not just becoming a teen and mismanagement of time, this is purposeful forgetting or stalling.
3. Eating inconsistencies should be another huge warning sign. This seems to happen over a short period of time where a child's eating habits show a significant change. Eating to sooth and comfort themselves, or not eating because they are nervous and nauseated. If left to itself it could turn into an eating disorder. If you are concerned talking to your family doctor may help. Children go through growth spurts and odd eating tendencies frequently. However, if your child's personality is also changing, or they seem consistently ill it's time to get it checked out.
4. Trouble sleeping or having nightmares should raise your flag again. These symptoms are often related to anxiousness and nervousness. This could be the result of bullying at school.
5. If your child starts becoming sick often or seems to have an unusual amount of headaches these should not be ignored. Sit down with your child and have a heart to heart. If your child will not open up to you, it is time to step up and look around. Talk to other adults in the child's life. If your child has a huge resistance to this it's time to put down an ultimatum. Either your child talks to you, or you will talk to friends and teachers to find answers.
Being bullied by a teacher, adult or child is not acceptable. Just because it was in school when you were, or the saying "there is always a bully deal with it" does not make it okay. Yes, bullies have always and will always be around. Bullies have problems too. They should be looked upon with sympathy and helped too. This however does not give them a free ticket to hurt other children so that they may feel better about themselves. If your child will not open up to you, you must step up and take measures to find out what is going on. It is your duty as a parent to let your child learn and grow in a healthy environment. Nothing is ever perfect, but an ongoing issue should be addressed quickly.
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